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Oh my goodness, the New Year is here! 2017 flew by. Of course, it could be that I am a mom but life seems to simultaneously speed up and slows down all at the same time.
Now that M is 6 months I feel I am ready to get my life back in order. I didn’t go back to work, so I have had a lot of extra time to go with the flow and just take it day by day.
Although, having just written that I feel I should tell you, that isn’t actually true. I do have a pretty good routine going with M and I get CRAZY anxiety when things don’t go along with the schedule/routine…Case and point…nap time. But I do feel M and I are making some progress, which means, I am ready to set some goals for 2018.
2018 New Year’s Resolutions:
- Make My Husband a Priority:
My husband and I have been together for 8 years, married for 1.5 years, and parents for 6 months. We both want to be the “perfect” parents, which is an impossible standard. We’ve allowed our “perfect” parent ideas and mindset to put our relationship in the background and M in the foreground.
But I want to change this a little. I want to put my relationship with my husband first or make it more of a priority instead of an afterthought. I seriously love my husband and our whole relationship I was always doing acts of service and using his other love languages to communicate how much I loved him.
I would make his lunch every day, I would make sure his coffee was set for the morning, I would take care of chores, and do things, in general, to help keep his life organized and running smoothly.
When M came I stopped making lunches (I mean rightfully so, I was crazy exhausted and had a little baby constantly attached to me.) I would often forget to set his coffee, etc. This caused my husband to feel neglected. Maybe that is too strong of a word. Don’t get me wrong, he 100% understood/understands that I don’t have all the time I used to have. But it was yet another adjustment.
So my first New Year’s Resolution is to make my husband more of a priority by speaking in his love languages. I will put more of an effort into performing acts of services, like making lunches 2-3 times per week to help him feel more like a priority instead of an afterthought.
**If you and your partner haven’t taken the love languages quiz I highly recommend it! The quiz is a huge eye-opener. Also, after having M I’ve noticed that my own love languages have changed a little. Which is super helpful for me, but also for my husband.**
2. Put More Effort Into Dating My Husband:
This sort of goes along with number one, but this part is really important to me. Do you remember, before you had kids, how much free time you had? You would wake up and think to yourself, I feel like going out for dinner and a movie… Or friends would invite you to trivia night at the local bar and that would be a great date night? Well, that doesn’t really happen nowadays, or at least not for us.
Now date nights take a ton more planning and on top of that, we haven’t left M with anyone yet, and honestly, I’m not ready yet. (I know first-time mom problems.) These all make dating my husband even harder. I am not ready to leave the house without M, but I still want to reconnect and share some time with my husband.
My resolution is to date my husband more by planning and putting more of an effort into fun at home date nights. At home date nights can be really hard to accomplish so I want to share with you a few amazing ways I plan on dating my husband at home.
Date Night In boxes: If you follow me on Instagram you know I love this monthly subscription date night box. This box is so great and takes a lot of the planning out of the date night. Plus it is always something unique that you wouldn’t have thought of yourself (or at least I wouldn’t have thought of for myself.) One month we had a whole fall theme, complete with fondue kit. Another month we had a Thankful theme, where we really thought about what we were thankful for. This month we received the winter wonderland box with hot chocolate, and a gingerbread camper to decorate.
I love this box subscription because it’s not just for new parents. It is great for everyone. From busy parents to grad students. In fact, I love Date Night In Box so much that as a secret Santa gift for my book club I gave away a box. It was so sweet because the person I gave it to, is finishing up her masters in special education, and said exactly this, “thank you so much. I was looking at your Instagram posts and was thinking about trying it because we are too busy to go out for dates.”
The other thing I love about Date Night In Box is how unique everything is. For about the same price as dinner and a movie, you can have a super unique date at home. Something that will really build up some memories for you and your spouse.
Dating Divas: I am in love with this blog/website! I found them quite a few years ago when I was looking for more creative ways to date my husband and have fun with him.
If you haven’t heard of them before, you really should check out their site. A lot of the stuff is completely free. They have already made date nights for you, you just have to print off the free printables and plan the date night. They have date nights that range from the “wink wink, nudge nudge” category, to family dates. Group dates to one on one dates.
They, of course, have products you can purchase too. From a divorce-proof your marriage boot camp to extremely beautiful date night printables. I just love everything they post.
I also love following them on Instagram. Tara, the founder, is so cute and so real about all the things she and her husband have been through (IVF) and how they keep their love alive. I just love them.
3. Make More Time for Me:
I wrote a blog post awhile back about Mommy Burnout and how to get over it, and one of the things I stressed in that post is making time for yourself! Now, I know how hard it can be to do this… I wrote the post and still haven’t really taken my own advice. But I want to really make sure I put more of an effort into getting out of the house, by myself, or doing things for me.
Being a mom is hard, exhausting work and without taking time for yourself the last thing you want to do is do for others. What’s that saying, you can’t fill up someone else’s tank if your tank is on empty, or something like that?
I totally believe this is true. When I am run down and exhausted the last thing I want to do is fill up my husband’s tank. So here are a few ways I am planning on making more time for myself.
Peanut: have you heard of this app? It is basically like tinder but for moms. The whole idea behind the app is to connect like-minded women in your area who also happen to be moms.
I have a great group of girlfriends and we get together once a month for book club, but our lives are so busy sometimes, that once a month is really the only time we can get together. My goal is to make other mom friends so I can get out of the house more. Both with M and without.
Spa Membership: There are a few amazing spas in my area that offer monthly memberships. Each month you would get 1 massage and a mani/pedi, or facial, plus you get unlimited access to their facility. So you could use their steam room, hot tub, hot sand room, etc. throughout the month as much as you want.
I think this sounds like a great way to take a little time for myself. I could pop out for an hour or two every week and just have some me time to decompress. I am seriously giving this option a lot of thought.
Blog: When I started the blog it was because I needed something to do while the baby was sleeping beside clean the house and watch TV. But the more I started writing the more I fell in love with it.
But now the problem is I don’t get a lot of time to work on the blog. I allowed myself to take breaks over the holidays. But I really want to pick the blog back up and really make it a priority in 2018.
Since I am a stay at home mom it’s nice to have something that allows me to use my brain and connect with other adults out in the world. My goal is to have one day a week where I go to my local coffee shop or library and spend a few hours just working on it.
This seems like quite the list of resolutions, but I am pretty sure I can accomplish all of them. It might take some practice but I need to, not change my priorities, just shift them a little. What are your New Year’s Resolutions?