Remember at the start of the new year I made some lofty goals to make 2018 great? One of the goals I set was to make my husband more of a priority and work on setting time to intentionally date my husband every week.
At the start of the year I was so inspired by the fresh start and so motivated to really remind my husband that even though we are parents now, we can still make time for each other. Well, fast forward to March and you will find this goal sitting by the wayside with everything else.
I mean don’t get me wrong I love my husband and I do want to show him how important he is to me, but oh my goodness mom life is so hard! There are so many demands on my time, cooking, cleaning, entertaining the baby, work (even though I am working from home and only a few hours a week), blogging, Instagram, etc. I feel like I barely have time for myself let alone my husband. Which then turns into wife guilt, is that a thing?
So, I have been inspired to get back on my new year’s goals and here is how I found the inspiration and hopefully the motivation too.
Have you heard of the 3 in 30 podcast? Well, Rachel (the host) did a great episode (episode 18) on speaking your partner’s love language. The person she interviews during this podcast is Celeste Davis who has a blog called Marriage Laboratory. During the podcast, Rachel and Celeste talk about 3 of the five ways Celeste challenged herself to speak her husband’s love language.
They started out by taking the love languages quiz to discover what their love languages were. Then Celeste picked a different love language to focus on each month. For example, in February she focused on the Words of Affirmation language because it was her husband’s number 1 love language. So every day in February she wrote her husband a love letter/email or text. Then the next month she focused on a different love language. You can read about her experiment here.
I was so inspired to try this “challenge” that I started April 1st. Celeste makes it so easy, she has a few posts on the Marriage Laboratory that will help you with the words of affrimation portion from 42 love letter prompts to 40 texts to send your partner.
The key take away that I took from the 3 in 30 podcast interview with Celeste was you don’t have to wait for your husband to jump on board with you. This is something that I struggle with. If I am doing I want him to be doing too. But I started this challenge as a way for me to feel closer to him and for me to fill up his love tank.
There will be parts of the challenge where I will need my husband to also participate, physical touch and quality time are the two big ones I can think of. But I want to do this as a way of showing my husband, “see, look I do still care about you, look at these things I am doing throughout the day, week, month to show you that you are still a priority to me and I do still love you.”
I am going to take you along on this love language journey and I hope it will help you be inspired to show your partner that you do care about them. I know mom life is hard and there are a million things going on all the time in our life. But we (and by we I mostly me) I don’t want my husband to feel like he is just another thing to mark off the to-do list. I want him to feel loved, supported, and cherished, because after all, isn’t that what we all want?